Zach Lawn is Des Moines, Iowa

Birthday yesterday.

It was ok.

I'm going to go for a drive.

Talk to you all soon.

I moved.

So, like in the olden days, I'm typing this without looking at the screen at all. This is because I've already typed this whole thing once, but the damn thing crashed so I ha to start over, and second, because ti is way too bright right now, and my eyes hurt a lot.

So, for the last two years, I've lived in a house on the south side of Manhattan, KS. It's a nice place with a sizable backyard, a friendly dog, biggish rooms, all the major appliances, and unlike most other college residences, it always feels like a home, not just someplace to crash.

I moved away from there last week. I now live in a loft apartment above a bar in Aggieville. That's the bar district of Manhattan for those who don't know.

Anyway, It's a pretty nice apartment. Most major appliances, Has a big living area, an awesome balcony, and some other nice features. A living room with a useless catwalk above. Double headed showers for multidirectional wet nakedness. My personal living space is eight feet by twelve feet. Anyway. I don't know if I will like living here or not. But its worth the shot.

We'll see how it goes. Take a look.

It's in a book, Reading Rainbow.

The Deadly Duplicator

They doubled my dosage about a week ago.

The first day or two was normal. No real noticable effect. Then on monday I started noticing that I would get dizzy after I took my pills, and pass out soon after.

That part has been getting worse. But I still wake up often in the night. So now, I feel the same as before, and I get really really dizzy right before bed and when I wake up.

I may be wrong, but I don't think these pills are doing the trick. So it's back to the doc, I go.

Oh, and I'm moving today. Pictures to come.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Three weeks ago, I started taking antidepressants. I was prescribed these antidepressants because I told the doctor that I can't sleep. And that's true. I also told him why I can't sleep. I tend to stay up for hours trying to get my brain to slow down enough for me to pass out. This has been my method of finding sleep since I was about 13 or 14 years old. The reason I finally went to the doctor about it is that it had gotten a whole lot worse recently, and added in me waking up a half dozen times a night for now apparent reason.

It occurred to me today that this worsening of my sleep habits coincided with my leaving my old job. A job that worked me too much, for too long, and was too damn stressful. So, somehow, it seems possible that leaving that environment has made it harder for me to sleep at night. The only thing I can think of here is that the job was exhausting me in several ways.

Anyway, off track. So the stuff they put me on for this problem I am apparently having is about the mildest thing they could put me on, antidepressant wise. Its supposed to take 2 to 3 weeks to kick in, and I've been going back to see the doc every week so he can check on me. Next appointment is tomorrow, and surprise surprise, no effect from these things yet.

So, I'm telling you all this because tomorrow, he will say that they need to up the dosage or switch me to something else altogether, and I'm sure that you will be hearing about that.

So this is more of a preview than anything else. I apologize for the lack of the deep booming voice and fancy title sequence.

Oh yeah, one more thing. Told one of my oldest friends about me being depressed, which actually did come as a bit of a surprise to me, somehow. She said that she was surprised that I was surprised.
Weird how I have the same reaction to finding out that I am depressed as I do to finding out when my friends are.